This article appeared in the January 1963 issue of Movie World
Magazine
SUNDAY,--
Bobby's leaving tomorrow. Of all people I should best understand the importance of these tours of his, but... I've already begun to miss him and he hasn't even left yet.
There's one good thing. This tour will only be for five days. I know he'll be wonderful. He always is, but he's worried. I guess that's what makes him so good. He worries and works to improve, he doesn't just sit back and rest. He works too hard. I wish he could rest--but there's something driving him, it won't let him rest.
MONDAY,--
Well he's gone. I don't know what I'll do with
myself for the next five days. I wish I were working
now, but my next picture doesn't start for another month.
Bobby didn't want me to go to the airport to see him off. He said he hated to see me standing there, "so little and lost looking." I'm not really that little!
But, to tell the truth, I was just as glad not to go to the airport. Seeing him get into the plane leaving me behind for a week--I don't think I could have stood that.
He said good-bye to us, Dodd and me, right here
at home. "You take good care of your mother," he said to Dodd seriously. I love him so much when he talks to the baby like that. As if Dodd really could understand him.
Then he kissed me. I almost cried, but I couldn't have done that to Bobby. I would have made him feel so terrible.
He's going to call every night at ten. It's only noon now. I don't think I can stand the wait.
TUESDAY,--
Bobby and I talked for almost an hour last night. If we go on like this every night, the telephone bills will be horrible. It's funny, Bobby doesn't mind any other of my "little" extravagances, but he gets absolutely furious about big phone bills. I must remember to write more letters and make fewer long distance phone calls.
I was sure that taking care of and playing with Dodd would make the days fly. Well, I love being with him--even when he's cross--but it's amazing how much a baby sleeps! I wonder why I never noticed it before? I guess I shouldn't complain. Sleep is good for a growing baby, but I get so lonely.
WEDNESDAY,--
Bobby and I talked for an hour and a half last night! Maybe I can hide the phone bill when it comes. I could probably pay it out of my allowance--in about three years! I don't know why I'm so worried really. After all, Bobby talks, too.
Bobby's tour is coming along wonderfully. I knew it would. Bobby's so funny. He worries and worries about every little thing. He's always positive that it'll be a flop--then when he "floors" them (well I can't help it Diary, that's the expression he's always using) why then, he acts as if he had never had a doubt or worry in the world.
THURSDAY,--
Bobby and I only talked 45 minutes last night. It was a record for us. He sounded so tired. I just know he's staying up till all hours.
I just had to do something to get my mind off him today. At first I thought I'd go shopping, but the bills for last month just came in and... So I decided to go to the beach. Don't ask me why I went to the beach when I have a perfectly lovely swimming pool right at home. I'm just a beach nut, I guess.
I left Dodd with his nurse and I drove down by myself because mother's busy making a dress for me.
I went for a swim and then came back to eat. I was just getting settled when this strange boy sits himself right down on my blanket as if he owned it--and me. I was so startled that I just sat there with my mouth open.
He leaned back on his elbows and immediately started saying things like, "Where have you been all my life, doll-baby?" Honestly it was too corny. Then he began talking about himself.
Finally, because I just knew he wouldn't give me a chance to say anything, I waved my wedding ring in front of him. He was pretty dense--it took about a minute for it to sink in. "Hey," he said in a strangled sort of voice, "you're married!"
I never in my life saw a boy make a faster exit. So I came home--and ate lunch in peace and quiet. I gave the nurse the night off because she's been with Dodd every single minute today.
FRIDAY,--
Bobby and I talked for two solid hours last night! (I think I'll go home to mother when the phone bill comes
in.) But it was wonderful. Bobby was so excited about coming home. He's coming home tomorrow, remember!
Whoops! I just heard a funny sort of noise. It sounded like a crash.
It's three hours later. The most
amazing and the most frightening thing has just happened.
I heard this odd, muffled crash from outside. For a second I was really frightened. Then I remembered Dodd. I was afraid the sound might have wakened him. I tiptoed into his room and up to his crib. He looked so peaceful and beautiful asleep.
I walked back into the living room and noticed that I had forgotten to draw the drapes. I leaned over to reach the draw cord and glanced casually out the window (by this time I had forgotten all about the noise I had heard). There was no moon, and a slight fog had rolled down from the hills. For a moment I felt as if this house was on a tiny island, cut off from all the rest of the world. I shivered a little and then smiled at my silliness. "Next thing I'll be believing in ghosts." I chided myself, but nevertheless I was scared.
But I knew that I had seen something, and I knew that it wasn't a dog. I looked around the living room uneasily. It had never seemed so large and so empty. There was only one light on and the corners of the room were hidden in shadows. I jumped up and walked around the room turning on all the lights. When I passed the phone I stared at it doubtfully and longingly.
But who could I call? Mother? I'd just worry her. And besides, what could I say? How could I say, "I think I saw something that I think was a man, hiding near the corner of the house?" It's really too stupid. I was acting llke a child.
The noise came again. This time there was no mistaking it. It sounded like someone had knocked over the garbage pails. "It's probably only the wind," I said out loud--to reassure myself. I tried to stay calm.
I walked into the dark kitchen and reached for the light switch--but changed my mind. I remembered that it was easier to see into a lighted room. And if there was anyone out there I wanted to see him--not he see me.
It was really amazing how cool I was. "I'm doing fine," I encouraged myself. "Just fine." But I was afraid and I knew it. No matter how cool I might act, I was afraid. "I'm frightened for the baby," I explained to myself.
Suddenly, thinking of the baby, I wasn't afraid any more. My son was helpless without me. He was completely dependent upon me for everything. Nobody had ever depended upon me so completely before!
Very slowly I started to move through the dark kitchen towards the window. There was that noise again! This one was much softer and furtive. Someone was trying the kitchen door! I put my hand out blindly, searching for something to lean against. I felt a long kitchen knife under my hand. Instinctively I picked it up. Then I walked to the door.
Through the window I could make out the slight figure of a man. He wore a shabby looking jacket and old, rumpled slacks. He was standing near the garbage pails, and as I watched, I saw with horror that he was pawing about in the pails looking for something.
Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and opened it, turning on the outdoor lights at the same time. "What do you want?" I called. It was amazing how clear my voice was--inside I was trembling with fear.
At the sound of the door opening and the glare of the lights the man had darted back into the shadows, but now he edged forward nervously. "Please, ma'am," he whined, I had never heard a man use that terrible begging tone of voice before. I was horrified. "I wasn't doing nothing. I'm just hungry."
I didn't know what to think, he was so pitiful looking but even so he might be dangerous. I don't know why but I said, "All right, wait a minute." I closed the door and turned on the kitchen light. A few minutes later I opened the door and handed him three, rather clumsily made sandwiches. "Would you like something to drink?"
He was so busy gulping down the food that he could only nod. I made a pot of coffee and gave him a large jar of it. Then, closing the door, I walked into my bedroom and took out five dollars. It didn't seem enough so I took out another five. When I gave him the money he looked at me in amazement.
"God bless you, ma'am. God bless you." And then he was gone.
"Now I'll never know," I thought. I'll never know if he was just a poor, hungry, little man who just wanted some food. Or," I added nervously, "he was just afraid to try anything because I had this knife. I put the knife away and went to look in on my son.
Now I'm waiting for Bobby. He'll be here in the morning and I can hardly wait. I know he'll ask what I did this week. I know he'll be pleased if I kept myself occupied. He hates me to be bored. Well, I wasn't bored--but I'm not sure that my loving husband will be exactly pleased if I tell him about my adventures. He might even decide not to leave me alone again!
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